I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
