So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
