The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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