I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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