Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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