The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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