i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He felt like a one man threesome
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
