i would punch a child for taco bell
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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