dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
