I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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