the day after is always just damage control
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
