I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
