i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
