I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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