i wish peter jackson would direct porn
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
