he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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