Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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