so let's talk penis.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
