sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
