I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
