What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
