His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
