there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
