FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
