I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
