I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
