Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
