I seem to have left my pride at pride
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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