Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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