I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
