took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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