last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
that's an acceptable place to lick
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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