Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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