you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
