I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
