all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
where does the pee come out of this thing
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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