hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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