I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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