I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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