Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
