you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
