what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
