its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
