Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
