come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
