I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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