he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
my being single is dangerous.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
