why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
