we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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