all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
