This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
