Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
