God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
