three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This is my gift to your gina
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
