the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
