I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
