Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
