What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Oh god it's open bar.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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